I have to admit something. More for myself, really, than anyone who may happen to read this.
The bottom line is......I'M SCARED.
I think this fear has been growing inside of me for quite some time now and has begun to fully ramp up in the past two weeks. First, our union left us hanging right up until the Friday before the big meeting. During this lull, i began to grasp the reality that our union truly would not be there to support us. Day after day after day, i drove into the parking lot expecting to see the congregation of union groupies handing out the information that we so desperately craved. Day after day i clocked in and put my head down and went to work, hoping tomorrow would be the day. And then Friday came and the "informational packet" was finally handed out. Did anyone else notice the near silence across the plant floor during the first half hour of Fridays shift?? Stunned silence, as we came to the realization that 2 years of negotiations had resulted in virtually nothing. Confusion, as we wondered how our union officials could hand out such a vague summary at a time when we desperately needed detailed specifics.
And then came "THE MEETING". A few details finally began to emerge. Transfer Rights? "Wait your turn behind every member of the UAW before going one for one with a new hire off the street." Service Time? "Sorry, we couldn't get you that tenth you needed to get to retirement or anywhere else." Health Insurance? "Use your 5 office visits wisely, after that you pay 100%...And oh yeah by the way, that VEBA? It will probably only last 10 years...15 tops." Alternatives? "Take this deal or be prepared to walk away with nothing."
That's when the fear truly hit me. The realization that my GM career was really over. There is no other option. All the math and all the common sense points to one obvious direction: BUYOUT.
The problem with that is this: I AM A GM WORKER. Its what i do. Its what I've done for the past 14 years. To some large degree, it has become a part of my identity. My family is deeply rooted within the company. My Father retired from GM. My Grandfather retired from Frigidaire. I have 2 uncles and multiple great uncles that have either retired from GM or currently work for GM. I have been fully aware for quite some time that i would never retire from GM, but i honestly never planned to quit either.
The funny thing is that i have been preparing for this day for quite some time. I will graduate with my college degree in the near future and will hopefully be positioned to find another job beyond GM. I thought this preparation would allow me to transition smoothly and walk away from this place without a second thought. I thought i would leave on my own terms. I thought i would go out with my dignity, feeling good about the time i have given to this company. I thought i would just stop being a GM worker and everything would be OK. I thought i would not be scared.
I was wrong.
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